Campaign Story

You know the proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child”?

Well, my friends, in this case, it’ll take a village to MAKE a child.

Won’t you be our neighbor?

Before we get too far down this rabbit hole, we’d like to introduce ourselves.

I’m Laurie!

Hi everyone, I’m so glad you are here and getting to know us and our story. A little about me… I’m a southern girl born and raised who opted to live her adult life in the frigid northern state of Maine.

But Laurie, that’s so far away from the south.

I know, right?

There’s a good reason and it’s two-fold: First, my career brought me to Maine. I’m an Executive Director of a Non-profit girls summer camp. My best hours every day are spent raising funds to send deserving girls to summer camp who otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford the experience. I’ve spent my adult life working with children both as an ED of a summer camp and also as a licensed therapist working with children. The second reason for Maine, well, it’s simple, I feel at home here. I’ve lived all over the US for school and work but never found a place that felt like home. Until Maine. I love Maine for her beauty, friendliness, nature, and people.

Like most forty-one year old women, I’ve lived some life (can I get an amen?). I spent my first twenty years in school working my way through two graduate degrees. The next twenty years were spent figuring out human relations and my career.

Moving into my forties I am ready for a new adventure and would love nothing more than the adventure of family, specifically raising a child.

So here we are, you and me.

Oh wait, what’s that? Who would I be raising a child with?

Well shucks, I’m glad you asked.

May I introduce my partner… Christine.

Hi! Christine here. I’m the person at the party sitting on the floor with the babies (or pets), with the snack table nearby. Considering motherhood has been my biggest life goal since childhood, I had expected this day would come much sooner than it has. But now that it’s here, it couldn’t be more perfect. Laurie is a total dreamboat who inspires me to be my best self everyday. I expect her penchant for singing silly songs to the puppy and the extraordinarily good-natured patience she has for his (and my) antics will carry over to how she parents our child. I’m thrilled at the prospect of building traditions and going through life together as parents.

As a professional baby whisperer/nanny, I have devoted years of my life to caring for other people’s precious little ones. The lessons I have learned and the ways my heart has expanded through loving other people’s children will serve me well as a parent. (Big shout out here to all my nanny families, current and past!)

In addition to nannying, I have been working to build a balanced law-related career that would allow me to actively parent my own little one while still providing for our family. Mediation has been the sweet spot for this, where I can guide and empower people to collaborate in making decisions through difficult situations. I mediate in the family courts, helping sort out divorces and parental rights cases. I also facilitate and mediate IEP meetings for the state department of education. My long-term goal is to open my own private mediation practice, where I can set a family-friendly work schedule.

I’m also overjoyed at the prospect of raising our child here in my home state of Maine. This little baby (babies?!) already has grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and dear friends nearby who cannot wait to meet them, and support us through this whole process.

So now you know the players.

Wanna know the nitty gritty of how we’re going to make this happen?

Here it is:

After countless hours of research and conversation, we have decided to try reciprocal IVF using the CNY Fertility Clinic – the most affordable and inclusive clinic possible (woot, woot!).

Reciprocal IVF.

What’s that?

We’re so glad you asked.

Reciprocal IVF is where we use one partner’s egg, create an embryo with donor sperm, do genetic testing (we’re in our 40s afterall), and then transfer a healthy embryo to the other partner’s womb.

In our case, we’re hoping Christine can be the pregnant person (thanks, Christine!) using Laurie’s egg for our first child. We also want to create embryos using Christine’s eggs and the same sperm donor to ideally have a sibling down the road, with Christine pregnant again (double thanks!).

Now, we know what you might be thinking… aren’t you kinda old for this? Did you look into other ways of being parents?

Great question! Yes, we have looked into the possibility of adopting and of being foster parents. We’re at a juncture at this moment due to our ages where if we want to have the experience of being genetic and gestational parents, which we do, time is of the essence and now is the time to try. The options of adoption and fostering will still be there for us down the road. Our eggs will not (eek!).

Why We Need a Village

The state of Maine does not require health insurance companies to cover infertility treatment, therefore, we need to pay for the whole kit and kaboodle ourselves. As you can imagine, this ain’t cheap.

We want to be as transparent as possible about our costs so we’ve outlined our procedures and listed the costs below.

We will do our monitoring ultrasounds locally in Portland through Maine Med, and then will travel to Albany, NY for the egg retrievals and frozen embryo transfers when it’s time. Due to our ages (40 & almost 42), we will do genetic testing on the embryos. Did you know: most miscarriages attributed to advanced maternal age are due to genetic problems of the embryo, not because the uterus is aged.

Here’s how the estimated cost breaks down:

$2,100 to pharmacy for medications

$2,000 to Maine Med for 8 monitoring ultrasounds prior to egg retrieval

$2,000 to Maine Med for 8 monitoring ultrasounds prior to frozen embryo transfer

$300 to CNY remote cycle management fee

$4,500 to CNY for IVF -the egg retrieval and embryo creation

$800 to CNY for genetic testing

$1,800 genetic testing fee to the lab

$2,000+ to cryo bank for donor sperm

$995 to CNY for frozen embryo transfer

$1,000 to CNY financing fee

$1,200 travel expenses to CNY in Albany, NY

TOTAL: $18,695

And that’s just for ONE round of reciprocal IVF! Gasp. And you know what, chances are we’ll need to do at least two rounds. That’s why our fundraising goal is twice the total cost of one round: $37,390.

But don’t fret! We believe we can do this!

Here’s how we’d like your help:

Give your dollar(s).

Do you have $1 to give? Do it! We will party hard when we see it come through and will be truly honored for your gift. Really.

Do you have $10, $100, $1,000 or $10,000? We will also hoot and holler when it’s given and wipe the tears from our eyes knowing you believe in us and our dream.

Are you someone with the financial means to make a matching gift so other’s gifts can be doubled or tripled? Please let us know! We’ll name our first child after you (kidding… kind of).

Give your voice.

We want to send our story as far, deep, and wide as humanly and ethically possible!

Post this on your social media with a link.

Send a personal email out to family and friends (and strangers?) to let them know YOU support us and you hope they will too!

Help us get some media buzz. Do you know someone who is connected to a media outlet? Has a large following? Might love to showcase a queer couple pursuing reciprocal IVF? Hook us up, let’s make some waves!

Have an even better idea? Let us know!

This is our story and we’re sticking to it.

Thank you for reading a bit about us, and as mentioned in the beginning…

This will take a village.

Won’t you be our neighbor?

Warmly and with gratitude,

Laurie & Christine